What Can you do to help your child to thrive?

Have you ever heard the term “Emotional Intelligence”?  It was a buzzword back in the ’90’s when the book by Daniel Goleman came out.  It continues forward into today on the website/movement Six Seconds.  As a global movement, it focuses on helping people to know themselves, exercise self awareness and self management and build others up in the process.  It is a natural tool for both teaching and parenting.

In a recent post on the website, Six Seconds describes what kids need to be able to thrive, and how you can support them in doing just that.

It basically breaks down three skills that kids need to flourish. The first is “engaging intrinsic motivation.”  In other words, doing something because they want to, not necessarily because you want them to! It’s inner motivation.  The second is “exercising optimism.”  This means the child has a sense of hope for the future.  And the third is “pursuing noble goals.”  This means they experience that it feels good to be part of a larger purpose.

Sounds like a tall order, eh?  Yes, but to help kids get there (and you, for that matter), they suggest a few simple steps for you to be aware of in your daily life with your little ones, on up to your teens.

1. Give kids the space and power to choose what they want.  Okay, within reason.  It means let them try that gymnastics class even if you think they are not coordinated enough.  It means letting them have more control in their lives at home and at school.  This is a building block of well being for all of us:  being able to choose what we think will work for us.

2. Model what it’s like to focus on these well being skills yourself.  What does that look like?  Try new things, follow your passions, get excited about doing something.  Let them see this in you.  For example, you don’t have to yell at the guy who cuts you off in traffic.  And if you do, you can point out that you maybe didn’t have to let that get you upset.  Find ways to take care of yourself.  Remember, they are ALWAYS WATCHING.

3.  Encourage your kids to have down time.  The lives of many kids, even preschoolers, can be very overscheduled.  Reexamine your family time and see if maybe just one activity at a time could be doable.  Model taking your own downtime.  Resist the pressure that can come from others.  Know what works for your family.

Finally, it should be noted that well being begins a downward trend from ages 7-18.  Practitioners of emotional intelligence want you to know that you can help your child develop these skills.  Their research and data appear on their website sixseconds.org.

 

 

Is Your Child at Risk for Depression?

A recent report on NBC News shared that there are more than 300,000 depressed kids in the United States.  This is an overwhelming number for sure, but there is more to the story.  When thinking of depression, most people think sadness and “the blues.”  While this is sometimes true when talking about kids with depression, it can also be true that kids exhibit other signs which are less readily identified as such.  For example,  irritability may be the first sign of both anxiety and depression in younger kids.  Is your toddler throwing a long tantrum?  1-2 % of toddlers aged 2-5 are depressed.  Depression that goes untreated in younger kids can lead to depression in older kids, too.

Of American kids aged 3-17, 15 million will have a diagnosable mental health disorder during a given year.  Of those, only 20% will receive treatment.  That means 1 in 5 have a perhaps hidden mental health disorder but 2/3 will go untreated.  These diagnoses, as related by the Centers for Disease Control, include anxiety, depression, ADHD and unspecified behavior problems.

Of course, your adolescent can be moody.  This is a hallmark of their age.  However, the tendency to develop a major depression or even bipolar disorder doubles from ages 13-18.  And more than half of all mental health disorders begin by age 14.  In teens, the long term statistics indicate that depression, particularly in girls, is getting worse. This is even more of a reason to keep an eye on your child and report to your pediatrician if you are concerned.  Read the article from NBC News, they will be doing a yearlong investigation into the topic and have provided statistics and hopeful treatments.

For now, signs of depression in kids include difficulty planning/organizing, difficulty concentrating, body language that indicates sadness, forgetfulness, easily hurt feelings, isolation from peers, distractability, complaints of feeling sick/not going to school, crying and forgetting assignments.

For adolescents, symptoms include sulking, self deprecating comments, theft, truancy, sexual activity, alcohol or drug use, isolation, defiance, pessimistic ideas and suicidal thoughts.  

If you have questions or concerns, please speak to your OT or health care provider as soon as possible.  There are treatments that can help!